A couple years ago I was in a Bikram yoga class (hot yoga, like 105 degrees, hot). And the instructor cued a transition wrong. She said right hand, left leg instead of left hand, right leg or something like that. Here's where most of us would apologize, and send that message to ourselves again, you know the one: "you're not enough"; but this instructor on this day won my heart, forever. After a little giggle she said "EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING".
If you aren't familiar with Bikram yoga, the entire room is a sauna. The practice starts at 95 degrees and during the 90 minute class that flows through 27 poses the heat increases to 105 degrees only to "cool down" to 95 degrees by the end of class. It would be easy to lose track of your thoughts, your hands because your eyes are covered in sweat, or even your clothes because well - 105 degrees is fucking hot.
If you're an instructor you've made these same blunders and you probably apologize for them but think about the message that sends - 'it's not okay to mess up.' As a class participant you know that feeling, the one that takes you out of your happy place and wanting to let the instructor know 'it's okay". I'm telling you what, the second she giggled and said 'excuse me for living', the energy of the room lifted even higher and we all took a sigh of relief. None of us were perfect, but we were all enough.
In life, this message applies to everything.
Running 5 minutes late because you got yourself ready.. and your kids ready... and waited patiently while they wanted to put their own shoes on. You go on and on... Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Can't make that coffee date because you were just given a huge project with a deadline for yesterday. You plead: I'm so sorry.
As people, especially women, we're programmed (brainwashed!?) to apologize for our "transgressions"... you know, all the those things that happen because we're HUMAN. These moments are all simply a part of our shared human experience. It is what brings us together, that defines us, that sends a message out to the rest of the world.
Stop apologizing for being human. Say you're sorry when it's actually appropriate. And when you hit one of life's little speed bumps just declare "excuse me for living."
Sweat & Smiles,