I worked really hard to prevent things from happening. I was careful with my time so I wouldn’t get off track. I put a lot of energy and effort into removing negative people, things, and thoughts from my life. Bad things kept happening, my schedule never worked out how I expected and the negatives kept appearing and reappearing.

What are you getting at, Melissa?

I stopped working really hard. That’s what I’m getting at. 



I let go of the control. I don’t try to prevent bad things from happening. Spending my life trying to think ahead of things that haven’t actually happened yet is, well, a bit crazy. 

I let go of my concept of time. Did working out at zero-dark-thirty actually make me better than those that worked out on their lunch break, while their kids were napping, or at the end of the day? I’ll go ahead and give you the answer: NOPE. Was the number of hours I put into something the most important piece of the puzzle? Abso-freakin-lutely not. 

I let the negative people, things and thoughts go right ahead and pop up. I can’t change another person, I can’t control other things and let’s face it, those negative thinking patterns have been around for a really, really long time. 

Okay, okay; that all makes sense but what do you do??


I focus on the rebound rate. The rebound is all that matters. Think of it in the context of a basketball game: the ball will go back and forth, you’re not always going to be in control of the ball. The goal is to get the ball back as quick and effortlessly as possible. Focus on getting the rebound and getting the ball back.

I can’t prevent bad things from happening, events throwing off my schedule or negative self-talk from creeping up so I throw ALL of my energy towards my rebound rate. How quickly I can get myself back to where I want to be.

My sole goal in controlling my life has been throwing all of my energy towards what I want, not what I was trying to stop. I focus all of my effort on closing the gap between when something unwanted happens and when I pulled myself back together. 

Two events in the past couple days showed me just how strong my rebounding game has gotten. 

First, I had a business meeting that housed the best closet I’ve ever seen. A walk in closet with a pull up bar and climbing ropes. If you don’t know what climbing ropes are picture a 1980’s movie where a kid was forced to attempt a rope climb and embarrassingly couldn’t do it. Well, neither could I. And I have to tell you, a couple years ago I would have been devastated that I couldn’t do something that a perceived “fit” person, especially someone who claimed fitness as a profession, couldn’t do. I got much farther up the first try then I did the second so I turned around and said ‘I’m going to have to practice this and try again’ and I genuinely meant it. I didn’t even care that I couldn’t do it, I had already patted myself on the back for trying something I’d never done (in front of other people, nonetheless) and moved on. 

Secondly, in a moment of not great parenting, my 1.5 year old child was found standing on my high-top kitchen table surrounded by shattered glass from the globe that was once encasing the lightbulbs on the ceiling fan above him. We checked his entire body head to toe and there was not a scratch or shard of glass on him. Last year a catastrophe would have meant that the day was over and I would have complained and called the day a flop. This day, I proclaimed ‘I really needed to clean the kitchen floor!’ And I genuinely meant it. It was something I intended to do so I cleaned the kitchen floor and changed the order of the things I intended to do. 

Gabby Bernstein shares a Universal Lesson* for this concept: Our happiness is a direct reflection of how quickly we can restore our fear back to love. The goal is not to avoid the fear but to close the gap between experiencing the fear and restoring ourselves back to love.

My goal is not to avoid anything unfavorable but in how quickly I can restore myself back to my positivity.

It’s all about the rebound rate.

Sweat & Smiles,